My decision to blog came from courageous people that inspired me to do something about my desire to change. The desire is to change my body.
Since I was a little girl I was made fun of how big I was by the other kids,it really makes me upset to just think about it. I think I never mentioned this to anyone but my husband. So I grew up to be an outgoing, fun and bubbly person around others. I was always fun and had many friends, but never really allowed people to make fun of me. I was always the one to make fun of myself first in order to show how in control of the situation I was. It worked, I think people thought I never had a problem with my weight. Being originally from Brazil you are just too weird not to think about your weight and your body,especially when all your friends go through great lengths to keep their skinny selfs in shape. Still I always struggled with my shape. I learned we are supposed to love ourselves for who we are and that we have a divine nature and that we are all different. That was enough to force myself to accept and love who I was, but really...I don't think I ever LOVED who I was...I was in complete denial. Thinking I loved good, because I am a good looking gal but seeing pictures of me on camera made me want to cry. How could I have gotten to that point??
So this is my effort to recognize myself again and to be the person I've always wanted to be and struggle to believe I can be. This is going to be me now. Blogging my ideas, my fears, my struggles. The candid truth. The bad and the ugly. I hope I can handle all this truths without crying like a baby meanwhile.
Today was my second day at the gym. I have been a chubby active person all my life and after my two kids I became a chubby sedentary person. I am committing myself to change now and I need help :) anyone out there is more than welcome to throw some encouraging words...if they are not encouraging keep them to yourself. I am not here to hear criticism of anyone other than myself.
I worked out for 50 minutes,doing and interval at the elliptical machine. My legs feel good and they are hurting a bit, that's how I like it....a little pain to know I'm doing something after all. :)
My goal is to reach 180 pounds and see how I look from there and decide if I want to lose more. I've never been that weight so I have no idea what I will look like and I have no aspiration of being a size 0.
Actual weight: 221 pounds. (7 pounds lighter than last week because of a stomach flu)
More to come...here is to change...
cheers
That's awesome Barbara!! Last year I made the same commitment and lost 40lbs. After many pregnancy treatments without success, which made me blow up like a balloon because of all the hormones I had to take for so long, I decided to change the way I felt about my body! I went to the gym 6x week for at least one hour and tried to eat as healthier as I could. I didn't change my diet drastically at first... I mainly reduced the portions. After 2 months though I didn't even had the desire to eat junk food at all because of how good I felt. It's all little by little, step by step. I'm like you... I like to feel a little sore after each workout. It kind of reassures you that something is changing for better. Well, as of tomorrow, I will start this same commitment once again. Last June I did another IVF treatment (also unsuccessful) and therefore, I gained back 15 lbs. So my goal is to lose these unwanted 15 lbs and maybe another 5. Tomorrow I will start going to the gym again and watch my portions. Hopefully I will be able to eliminate "junk food" from my mind and habit very soon. So I guess we are in this together. I hope I can join you in this journey! Take care Babi... and hang in there!! XOXO
ReplyDeleteBabi, q legal q voce fez esse blog. Eu nao tenho problema com meu peso, ams sempre estou de olho. Depois q parei de amamentar a Rachel, ganhei 4 pounds...o q nao eh muito, mas se nao tomar cuidado, vira um problema neh? eu admiro q voce toma esse tipo de iniciativa e tem coragem de admitir aquilo q voce quer ou o q vc nao gosta em si mesmo. Admiro mais ainda q vc nao quer soh estar "magra" mas quer estar saudavel. E isso pra mim eh o mais importante. E como voce falou, nao quer estar no tamanho 0, mas quer e sabe q precisa emagrecer.
ReplyDeleteenfim, vc sabe o tanto q eu te acho uam pessoa maravilhosa, e estarei aqui acompanhando sua jornada. Quem sabe eu nao decida ir mais a gym tambem neh? peguei aula de Cardio fitness esse semestre e me deu uma ajudada a entrar na ativa novamente. foi bom!!!
beijinhos
Beka
Babi, sempre soube desse teu "issue" e sempre te compreendi. Além disso, e mais ainda, sei que és SUPER STRONG! E que vais conseguir atingir os teus objectivos. Não vás abaixo se por acaso tiver uma recaída... é normal e não faz mal a ninguém. Tem pelo menos um dia da semana em que descansas e comes o que te apetece. É um processo lento, so don't dispair! Despite all that, YOU CAN DO IT! I am here... =)
ReplyDeleteOi Babi!! Parabens pelo blog! Eu te admiro muito pela coragem de fazer isso! Eu tb sempre tive problemas com pesa....uma sanfona.....sempre falo q preciso emagrecer..mas nao faco nada a respeito...aiai....mas agora vou vir sempre aki....vendo vc superar as tuas dificuldades vai me ajudar a enfrentar as minhas!!
ReplyDeleteE eu tenho certeza q vc vai conseguir!! Vc eh linda!!
bjss
Entao ao todo vc quer perder 40 pounds? Col! Facinho! Vc consegue!!!!! Vc leu a historia de weight loss da Amanda do www.kevinandamanda.com que eu te mandei? Eh mto inspiradora, pelo menos eu achei. Perder peso sem fazer dietas mirabolantes, eh realmente comer menos. BEM menos. Uma dieta de 1200 calorias pra uma pessoa que nao esta amamentando. Entao eu nao sei qto vc pode, acho que qdo eu tava amamentando eu fiz de 1500-1900. Mas eu tentava ficar nos 1600. E foi assim que eu perdi peso. Tomei mto leite (como vc ja sabe) e tomo mto ate hoje e isso foi oq mais me ajudou. Mas vc tem que medir qto vc esta tomando, nao eh tomar um copao com um monte de chocolate neh. Eh leite desnatado, 200 ml de cada vez, com um chocolate light, uma colher só. Compre td light, manteiga, pao, mta verdura e legumes (mas nao batata) maneira mto no arroz e carboidratos. Nao tome suco nem refri, soh agua. Mtaaaa agua. Vá no gym todos os dias por 1 hora. Ande bem rapido na esteira, nao existe coisa melhor pra emagrecer doq andar td dia na esteira por 1 hr (eh melhor doq correr).
ReplyDeleteAh, acho que eh isso. Vai postando mais aqui col, pra ir continuando.
Vc consegue col, vai ficar magrinha, magrinha. Linda de morrer.
Beijao!
Hi Miss Barb!
ReplyDeleteI have to say how IMPRESSED I am with your truthfulness about where you've been and where you would like to go! It's a little terrifying though, right? It was so nice to hear from you on my blog..... Just keep going - even when it's hard, and it's frustrating, keep doing it - I know for me, personally, the hardest part of my change is with food, so when I struggle it is 98% with keeping up my good eating habits. So when I say keep going, for me, I mean I just keep going to the gym, I keep eating my breakfast that I've had for the past 7 months (weird, I know, but I love it), and I get my head in the right place and go from there, because this journey will not be perfect because I'm not perfect. Keep up the good work.
Em